Faith’s Play-by-Play Fourth-Floor Traffic Report
[Traffic during Ramadan can get crazy at certain times of the day. It got particularly crazy last week before the hugely important soccer match between arch-rivals El Ahly and Zamalek football clubs, who played right here in Heliopolis. Here’s Faith’s description of what she saw outside.]
I just want to share with you right now what is going on outside my window as I type. Ok, there is a huge traffic jam outside my window right now. I have just moved outside to watch it happen as I am writing this to you. We live on a street called Fareed Samika. It has two streets running each one way. So, what that means is, if you look out my apartment building, there is the street with the traffic going to the right, then a park in the middle, then a one way street with the traffic going to the left. In most places in Egypt they do not have traffic lights, as is the case with the problem that is going on right now. Fareed Samika intersects with Amr Ibn Yasser. At the intersection right now the traffic has not moved the whole time I have been out here. The reason is because all the cars are trying to cross at the same time causing a large and unmovable gridlock. There are people standing with their doors open, with one leg still inside the car ready to move at any moment.
Now, on my side of the street, the cars are going the wrong way down a one way street hoping they will be able to move. But, unfortunately, they are causing part of the gridlock at the end of the street. Now, our porter Waheed is directing people to go down the side street next to our building. (We live on a corner.) He is trying to direct the cars that are going the wrong way to not go to the intersection. I get the biggest kick out of him. He laughs all the time and I can hear his laughter as he directs this insanity. Oh, there goes a police car. Okay, traffic is starting to move but there are still people trying to go down the one way street the wrong way. Did I say anything about the honking? Egyptians love to honk. They have a whole subculture in horn honking here. Right now, most of the horn honking consists of laying your hand on the horn and not taking it off for 10 to 15 seconds, somehow making them think that they can move traffic by doing this. I was told by one of my coworkers that you can even swear a certain way with your horn and you can also swear with your lights.
Okay, there are 3 more egyptians standing down below my apartment trying to direct traffic. Okay, they now have jumped back into their vehicles and are on their merry way.... to the end of the sidewalk. One of the reasons why traffic is so bad is because it is 5:04 p.m. and everyone is trying to get home to break fast and have what they term as "breakfast". It is their first meal of the day. Everybody gets a bit more tense during Ramadan, which is understandable. Okay, now we have a large yelling spree across the park going on between a taxi driver and another motorist. Okay, now they are done. Now there is a young man in a orange shirt running down the street with what seems to be a red flag. Okay, he directs, then he runs on. I think he really is not anyone official. [This is Lee: red is the color of one of the soccer teams: this guy was probably an El Ahly fan. Most of my students are Ahly fans, and some of my boys were VERY rambunctious the day of the match. Fortunately, their team won against Zamalek 4-2. I would’ve probably gone with some of them, but we had Faith’s birthday dinner that night.]
Did I also mention that Egyptians love to help others? They will help direct our school bus at times around donkeys with carts, horses with carts, men on bikes peddling bananas, passed doubled parked cars, you name it. Oh,,,,,,,,,, it looks like Waheed has given up directing traffic and is now sitting down on a short concrete wall having a cup of tea with his wife and a smoke,,,, or is that a pen? It doesn't look like it is getting any shorter. I am on the 4th floor ya know. I think that is a pen. Okay, now we have the standing with my door open with one foot inside and rolling my car down the street. Okay,,, now one man is taking both feet out of the car and is not hopping but walking and pushing. Traffic is now lightening up on my side of the street but across the park is another story. It is now 5:24 p.m. and getting dark as we speak. In a few minutes it will be completely dead out here. Not a soul around.
Oh, they are finally moving across the park. Even though it is dark, people do not use their headlights all the time. They mostly use them to signal. Today, when we were going to school, we had to take a different route because President Mubarak was flying to Dubai for a funeral. They close off streets when he goes anywhere. Aha!!! I was wrong, that is a cigarette in Waheed’s hand and not a pen. I just saw the red ash as he puffed on it. Okay. Traffic is now under control and moving in the right direction. No more gridlock. What was happening for the last 1/2 hour almost seems nonexistent now. Maybe I should have some soup to tied me over until my Birthday "Stuff My Face As Much As I Can And Loosen The Belt Fest" at 9:30?
[We had, by the way, a very nice birthday dinner for Faith at a restaurant called El Shabrowey. About a dozen Americans and Egyptians showed up, the food was good, and we had fun. Faith is now 37.]
I just want to share with you right now what is going on outside my window as I type. Ok, there is a huge traffic jam outside my window right now. I have just moved outside to watch it happen as I am writing this to you. We live on a street called Fareed Samika. It has two streets running each one way. So, what that means is, if you look out my apartment building, there is the street with the traffic going to the right, then a park in the middle, then a one way street with the traffic going to the left. In most places in Egypt they do not have traffic lights, as is the case with the problem that is going on right now. Fareed Samika intersects with Amr Ibn Yasser. At the intersection right now the traffic has not moved the whole time I have been out here. The reason is because all the cars are trying to cross at the same time causing a large and unmovable gridlock. There are people standing with their doors open, with one leg still inside the car ready to move at any moment.
Now, on my side of the street, the cars are going the wrong way down a one way street hoping they will be able to move. But, unfortunately, they are causing part of the gridlock at the end of the street. Now, our porter Waheed is directing people to go down the side street next to our building. (We live on a corner.) He is trying to direct the cars that are going the wrong way to not go to the intersection. I get the biggest kick out of him. He laughs all the time and I can hear his laughter as he directs this insanity. Oh, there goes a police car. Okay, traffic is starting to move but there are still people trying to go down the one way street the wrong way. Did I say anything about the honking? Egyptians love to honk. They have a whole subculture in horn honking here. Right now, most of the horn honking consists of laying your hand on the horn and not taking it off for 10 to 15 seconds, somehow making them think that they can move traffic by doing this. I was told by one of my coworkers that you can even swear a certain way with your horn and you can also swear with your lights.
Okay, there are 3 more egyptians standing down below my apartment trying to direct traffic. Okay, they now have jumped back into their vehicles and are on their merry way.... to the end of the sidewalk. One of the reasons why traffic is so bad is because it is 5:04 p.m. and everyone is trying to get home to break fast and have what they term as "breakfast". It is their first meal of the day. Everybody gets a bit more tense during Ramadan, which is understandable. Okay, now we have a large yelling spree across the park going on between a taxi driver and another motorist. Okay, now they are done. Now there is a young man in a orange shirt running down the street with what seems to be a red flag. Okay, he directs, then he runs on. I think he really is not anyone official. [This is Lee: red is the color of one of the soccer teams: this guy was probably an El Ahly fan. Most of my students are Ahly fans, and some of my boys were VERY rambunctious the day of the match. Fortunately, their team won against Zamalek 4-2. I would’ve probably gone with some of them, but we had Faith’s birthday dinner that night.]
Did I also mention that Egyptians love to help others? They will help direct our school bus at times around donkeys with carts, horses with carts, men on bikes peddling bananas, passed doubled parked cars, you name it. Oh,,,,,,,,,, it looks like Waheed has given up directing traffic and is now sitting down on a short concrete wall having a cup of tea with his wife and a smoke,,,, or is that a pen? It doesn't look like it is getting any shorter. I am on the 4th floor ya know. I think that is a pen. Okay, now we have the standing with my door open with one foot inside and rolling my car down the street. Okay,,, now one man is taking both feet out of the car and is not hopping but walking and pushing. Traffic is now lightening up on my side of the street but across the park is another story. It is now 5:24 p.m. and getting dark as we speak. In a few minutes it will be completely dead out here. Not a soul around.
Oh, they are finally moving across the park. Even though it is dark, people do not use their headlights all the time. They mostly use them to signal. Today, when we were going to school, we had to take a different route because President Mubarak was flying to Dubai for a funeral. They close off streets when he goes anywhere. Aha!!! I was wrong, that is a cigarette in Waheed’s hand and not a pen. I just saw the red ash as he puffed on it. Okay. Traffic is now under control and moving in the right direction. No more gridlock. What was happening for the last 1/2 hour almost seems nonexistent now. Maybe I should have some soup to tied me over until my Birthday "Stuff My Face As Much As I Can And Loosen The Belt Fest" at 9:30?
[We had, by the way, a very nice birthday dinner for Faith at a restaurant called El Shabrowey. About a dozen Americans and Egyptians showed up, the food was good, and we had fun. Faith is now 37.]
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